Today is the beginning of Mental Health Awareness Week. Today's theme is whānau...whiria te muka tangata: Recharge with others.
I turned 40 on Saturday. I had a party planned. Lots of people to come and celebrate with me.
The only thing was, I was feeling very fragile last week, or "wobbly" as Juliagrace would say. The thought of having the party brought me to tears as I tried to bring myself to a place where I could cope with being around lots of people and the emotional toll that would take. However, the thought of cancelling the party, letting people down, and letting people know I wasn't coping also brought me to tears.
I couldn't get my head around what to do. I just knew I was finding it hard.
Beks stepped in on Friday and decided to cancel it for me. She wrote a message and sent it to all the invited guests letting them know the situation and that we would be celebrating with whānau instead for the sake of my health. It was a huge weight off having her take the lead and make the best call for my health.
On my birthday I then was much more relaxed as the pressure was off. I had some amazing moments of recharging with whānau. A whānau who knows me and accepts me, wobbly bits and all!
It turned out that this was indeed just what I had needed, and it ended up being a happy birthday after all.
Ehara taku toa i te toa taki tahi, engari he toa taki tini. My strength is not that of one but that of many.